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Tuesday, November 05, 2013

The Get: A Systemic Problem

I just last month posted about the problems connected with the Jewish way of divorce, where the man has to grant the woman a religious divorce by giving her a divorce document called a "get."  I argued that despite all efforts, legal and illegal, non-violent (requesting politely, cajoling, pleading) and violent (kidnapping, beating and sometimes torturing), there are still men who refuse to grant their wives, their civilly divorced ex-wives-the halachic (Jewish law) document that they need in order to get on with their lives, begin dating, and eventually (hopefully) remarry.

Hat tip to Tzipi, my daughter, for sharing this. It's happened again, and thank goodness that after three years the Orthodox woman whose recalcitrant ex-husband refused to give a get, went public. I reprint this introduction from the New York Post:

Four-and-a-half years ago, Gital Dodelson, now 25, of Lakewood, NJ, married Avrohom Meir Weiss, part of a respected rabbinic family on Staten Island. Ten months after the wedding, Dodelson left the marital home with their newborn son, claiming her husband was controlling and manipulative. Despite getting civilly divorced in August 2012, they remain married under Jewish law because Weiss refuses to grant the faith’s decree of divorce, known as a “get.” As a result, Dodelson’s life in the Orthodox community is in limbo and she is unable to date, let alone get married again. Now, after more than three years of pleading with Weiss to sign the document that will set her free, Dodelson has gone public with her story in The Post:
Go straight to the link to read the entire story.  This young woman felt she had no recourse but to publicize her terrible situation for all to see and understand, and to convince her ex-husband to grant her a get. Which illustrates my point: no pre-nup, or legal agreement, or any form of coercion would be as effective for all Jewish women everywhere-not just for an individual case-as a reinterpretation or adjusting of the halacha to fit our society.  The bottom line is, a woman is dependent upon her ex-husband to 'give her a get.' It should not be that way at all: both parties should have equality in this decision making. That way, it precludes any one party of being a victim. Opinions welcome.



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2 comments:

Batya said...

This post has been included in Shiloh Musings: Vayeitzei, Let's Go Out to Meet Some Blogs, aka Havel Havelim.  Please visit, share and enjoy.

Lady-Light said...

Batya: Thank you!

 
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