Got a (Temp) Job (sha-la-la-la!)
Yes, work is good, but you know how it is--after a long time of unemployment, you get used to going to bed at all hours and getting up when it's not even morning anymore...sometimes (thank goodness, not too often)!
There's no structure to your day: you (uh, that's me) sit at your PC and surf the 'net, reading article after article, watching videos on YouTube, answering emails and thinking about blogging (sometimes actually posting a post). You get there--to your PC that is--at around 10 a.m., if you're lucky to have awakened before noon--and you sit there in your pajamas (they don't call it "Pajamas Media" for nothing, you know) with a cup of coffee, initially intending 'just to check your email,' although not-so-deep-down-inside, you know that's not your real kavannah*. Instead, it is to just do exactly what you are doing: vegge out, as they say, and be a human being.
Read the above "be a HUMAN who is merely BEING, as opposed to a HUMAN DOING." I mean, I've been a Human Doing all my life: I raised five kids, and in between and often during I taught Hebrew and Judaic Studies, first part-time and then full-time, while anticipating the birth of my third child (yes, that's you, Nathaniel Blumenstein!). I was also our school's PTA treasurer for four years, volunteered to serve the hot lunches at my kids' school once a week and did the shopping for our old shul's (that's former shul) kiddush once a month, taking turns with other shul members. And somewhere in there I had two more kids, our only two born in Denver (that's you, Toodles, and last-but-not-least you, Rambo!)
But truth be told, I never really wanted to be all that stuff. Just a mother: that, I knew I wanted to be. Come to think of it, I think laziness is in my nature: I've never wanted to be a HUMAN DOING, even when I was younger. Except for riding my bike and hiking and swimming, I never really enjoyed WORKING, ACCOMPLISHING, being PRODUCTIVE. I just wanted to. . . BE. That translates in this world to DOING NOTHING.
And after losing my job a year ago in May, just before Shavuot, with a few exceptions, that's actually what I was doing (unfortunately not the bike riding, hiking or swimming parts. Just the 'being' part.)
So where was I? Oh, yes: vegging out. So after months and months (and months) of "vegging out," suddenly I have to remember what it's like to 1) go to bed sometime before the crack of dawn, and then 2) get up before the crack of dawn! And then, do something I never, ever wanted to do, and that is 4) get out of my pajamas and wear CLOTHING; and not just any clothing, by gum, but Corporate America clothing (we have a LIST of what is UNACCEPTABLE). No: jeans, blue or black (I called them "dungarees" when growing up)
flip flops (in my day, they used to call them thongs. I wouldn't do that today...)
Except for Fridays, which are "corporate casual." I wear the same stuff on Fridays that I wear the rest of the week (I 'march to the beat of a different drummer'), so it makes no difference to me, but it's interesting how everyone just pines for Fridays--no one can stand the formallity during the week, they just can't wait to...vegge out, corporate style--on Fridays (pajamas aren't on the list, however).
So here I am, trying to get into the routine of packing my lunch the night before (that, I've done), going to bed early (isn't happening with great regularity), getting up early so that I could get to work on time (the first three days, I was on a roll! Today, I made it in with 8 minutes to spare), doing my exercises daily (didn't do 'em today; I woke up tired & ready for bed), and trying to stay awake at the computer at work, while being "accurate and productive."
Actually, I am typing this now at my home PC, when I am desperately needing to sleep, even though I really wanted to read a book I borrowed from the library, which takes concentration*.
Don't get me wrong--I'm glad to be working. And I do believe that by the time this project is over at the beginning of June, I'll have gotten the hang of getting into the groove.
So meanwhile, I think I'll read in bed, and that way, I'll probably put myself to sleep in short order.
*(the book: Perfidy, by Ben Hecht)