Mountain TimePhoto Sharing and Video Hosting at PhotobucketPhoto Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket השעה בארץ ישראל

Thursday, August 27, 2009

Weigh Your Words Carefully ('cause they're heavy)

There is a serious problem with Bloggersbase, which I intend to bring to the forefront and risk being the "whistleblower." It is a problem that I, personally, have already encountered several times, and after reading someone else's comment apologizing for a typo in their post title, I decided to blog about it here.

This life-and-death defect is. . . your posting set in stone. Yes. It's true. Once you left-click that mouse of yours with your trusty little itchy pointer finger on the button that says "publish," you have altered the universe. Your post is now out there in the hot sun, like an overripe, wormy fruit hanging half off its branch in the peach orchard about to splat all over the ground, for all to see. And it is absolutely unchangeable, irreversible, IMMUTABLE FOREVER. Then, it might actually even disappear!

With your kind indulgence (or not), I will explain: I have experienced this phenomenon several times, as I mentioned above; the first time it happened, (ok, I admit I'm impulsive, act reflexively and have Tourette Syndrome) I debated with myself for a long time (about a nanosecond) on the topic of in which category my blog post belonged: was it Lifestyle? Politics and Opinion? Trash Collection? Then, absolutely reflexively, my finger spazzed (it IS a word. I swear.) and hit the 'HUMOR' button.

I don't know why I did it, except that it was funny. Hitting the humor button, that is. Well, also my post--think about it--trash collection is funny; especially when there are stinky mounds and mounds of it, which you can then form like clay into a beautiful compost-pile public park complete with trees, grass, bike paths, row-boating lake and a bird sanctuary (yes, those birds still hang around, ever hoping to find some left-over shakshuka buried under the flowers). At any rate, when I hit that button, it was a done deal. No turning back. I couldn't change it if I wanted to, which I didn't, or so I thought at the time.

And then, it happened; my post just disappeared--vanished into thin air! Apparently, the Creators of the BloggaVerse (Bloggers Universe) caused it to NOT EXIST, just like that! Why, you ask (well, you didn't, but I'm telling you anyway)? Because (horrors!) it was in the wrong category. It's like, murder. The Creator, with His little finger, has wiped out all existence (chas ve'shalom*)

But I say, NO! It's more like manslaughter: just a simple mistake, with no malice aforethought. Like putting the eggs in the fruit bin. Big deal. You're not going to excommunicate someone over that, are you? In short, the punishment does not fit the crime!

And what about the times that you think you have the perfect post (like, say, a #5), hit "publish," and suddenly realize that you have a major misspelling of a third-grade vocabulary word which is right smack in the opening paragraph, in 24 point Comic Sans bold italics CAPS. Can you fix it? Can you redo it? Is there a reprieve? NO WAY. You have just committed your biggest crime in broad daylight, in the middle of Grand Central Station, with your pants down.

And once it's done, it's DONE. NO corrections possible, NO editing, NO WAY BACK. Heck, when I write my blog posts over here at my Tikkun Olam blog (www.lady-light.blogspot.com), I change it myriad times. Once one of my readers wrote me that he thought he was seeing things, subliminally: he was reading my post, rubbed his eye for a moment and when he looked again--WHOOSH--the post was gone, and then was THERE, in a flash! But, aha--in that split second it had changed from HER BOSOMS HEAVED WHEN HE KISSED HER to FAR FROM THE MADDING CROWD by Thomas Hardy. It was now (in my humble opinion), a classic.

Can we do that with the Bloggersbase platform? Do we have that option? Emphatically, NO. Once you publish, there it is--you can't edit it, you can't even delete it, for gossakes. It is forever set in stone, like Stonehenge. Or The Raven, nevermore to be corrected for eternity.

So I'm giving all you potential James Joyces, Edith Whartons, Charles Dickenses, Charlotte Brontes and Arbley C. Strunks out there fair warning: go over your post with a fine-tooth comb (like when you have lice), several hundred times. And then, underneath it write a disclaimer just in case, to wit:

If you detect any errors in this post such as misspellings of common words, incorrect idiomatic expressions, poorly turned phrases or stupid blonde jokes, this is to inform you that the post was not written by the author named above but rather ghost written by a ghost with a pseudonym. If however, you find this post quite excellent and perfect in every way, it was written by ME.




*chas ve-shalom: "G-d forbid."



Stumble Upon Toolbar

2 comments:

Jack said...

It is a mystery.

Lady-Light said...

Jack: What is?

 
Creative Commons License

This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-Share Alike 3.0 License.