Jewish vs Goyish

Ok, this is not original as I received it in an email from my famous relative, my "sister-in-law's sister-in-law," you know the one. (-and there is absolutely no offense meant to either Jews or non-Jews.)
But it's still, maybe just have a laugh (or cry, whatever!)


Judges Are Jewish
Juries Are Goyish

Packing all the mini hotel shampoos is Jewish
Using them is Goyish

Ordering family style is Jewish
Ordering a la carte is Goyish

Cruises are Jewish
Walking tours are Goyish

Laugh-In was Jewish
Hee Haw was Goyish

Grabbing lox from the back of the buffet first, is Jewish
Grabbing melon from the front is Goyish

Bunions are Jewish
Flat feet are Goyish

Simon Says is Jewish
The Hokey Pokey is Goyish

"Bewitched" is Jewish
"I Dream of Jeannie" is Goyish

The Limbo is Jewish
Line dancing is Goyish

Picking from your mate's plate is Jewish
Not wanting even a "little taste" is Goyish

Fruitcake is Goyish
Fruit and cake is Jewish

Reading "how-to" books is Goyish
Writing "how-to" books is Jewish

ESPN is Goyish
PBS is Jewish

Tiffany's is Goyish
Your Uncle Ira in the Jewelry District is Jewish

Passing bars is Goyish
Passing the Bar Exam is Jewish

DIY (Do it Yourself) is Goyish
PAG (Pay A Goy who knows what he's doing) is Jewish

Mary Kay is Goyish
Murray the K is Jewish

The Chia pet infomercial is Goyish
Ronco spray-on hair is Jewish

Morbidly obese is Goyish
Baby fat is Jewish

NASCAR is Goyish. Period.

West Coast is Goyish
East Coast is Jewish

Lunch meat is Goyish;
Deli is Jewish

White bread is Goyish;
Rye is Jewish

Sushi is Jewish;

Chopsticksare Goyish

Comforters are Goyish

Suspenders are Jewish;

Overalls are Goyish

Waldbaum's was Jewish;

A&P was Goyish.
(Now A&P is the parent company of Waldbaum's!)

Alan Sherman was Jewish;
Weird Al Yankovic, not so much

Laughing at someone else's troubles is Goyish;
Laughing at your own troubles is Jewish

"Youngsters" are Goyish,
"Kids" are Jewish

Buttering bread is Goyish;
Spreading margarine is Jewish

Sitting quietly to get served is Goyish:
Standing and waving one's hands is Jewish

I have just one thing to say about the Heineken can. Maybe beer is Goyish,
but Freddie Heineken, the founder of the Heineken Brewery in Amsterdam (a very Jewish city) was a Jewish man...just thought to tell you that...well,
pointing this out is Jewish too I think...

WWF is Goyish,
the NBA is Jewish

Tattoos and piercing are Goyish;
Diamonds and pearls are Jewish

Ham sandwiches are Goyish;
Corned beef on rye is Jewish

White sox are Goyish;
No sox are Jewish

Saving Money is Goyish;
Investing money is Jewish

Snowmobiling is Goyish;
Skiing is Jewish

Doing Landscaping is Goyish;
Hiring a Landscaper is Jewish

Beer is Goyish;
Wine is Jewish

Frizzy hair is Jewish;
Stick straight flat hair is Goyish

A party that revolves around the buffet table is Jewish
; A party that revolves around the bar is Goyish!

Making lists of what's Jewish and what's not .. is VERY Jewish!!

*goyish: a non-Jew; literally, "goy" means a "nation."

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Schvach said…
I don't get it - none of it.
Lady-Light said…
Schvach: Some of it, I can understand, e.g., 'Tattoos and piercing are Goyish;
Diamonds and pearls are Jewish.' Maybe. (But not for this Jew, anyway.)
But, 'White sox are goyish, no sox are Jewish?'
Ich vais...

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