So Many Blog Posts, So Little Time...


I honestly don't know how people who work for a living can keep up a blog on a regular basis, let alone read others' blogs. I am finding it quite the challenge. I also am not finding the time to research my ideas* (and meanwhile, as a result, my readership has plunged all the way down into the toilet.).

After two previous perverse perturbing posts (note the alliteration) it's time for some canned humor-since there isn't much in my life, heheh- I get my humor vicariously from good friends such as Betzalel, who in his inimitable weekly 'parsha papers' and bi (and tri) weekly forwards almost always comes up with something worth printing. Ok, reprinting (I'd give attribution here but I don't know where these are from; so much research, so little time! )

If you weren't sure who you were, you will be, now:

THE BATH TUB TEST:

It doesn't hurt to take a hard look at yourself from time to time, and This should help get you started.

During a visit to the mental asylum, A visitor asked the Director what the criterion was which defined whether Or not a patient should be institutionalized.

"Well," said the Director, "we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, A teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty the Bathtub."

"Oh, I understand," said the visitor. "A normal person would use the bucket Because i t's bigger than the spoon or the teacup."

"No." said the Director, "A normal person would pull the plug. Do you want a bed near the window?"

DID YOU PASS, OR DO YOU WANT THE BED NEXT TO MINE?

On Getting Older:

A distraught senior citizen phoned her doctor's office.
"Is it true," she wanted to know,
"that the medication you prescribed has
to be taken for the rest of my life?"
"Yes, I'm afraid so," the doctor told her.
There was a moment of silence before the senior lady replied,
"I'm wondering, then, just how serious is my condition
because this prescription is marked 'NO REFILLS.'"
-----------------------------------------
An older gentleman was on the operating table
awaiting surgery and he insisted that his son,
a renowned surgeon, perform the operation.
As he was about to get the anesthesia
he asked to speak to his son.
"Yes, Dad, what is it?"
"Don't be nervous, son;
do your best and just remember, if it doesn't go well,
if something happens to me, your mother is going to come
and live with you and your wife...."

-------------------------------- ------- --
Aging: Eventually you will reach a point when you
stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.
------------------------------------------
The older we get, the fewer things seem
worth waiting in line for.

------------------------------------------
Some people try to turn back their odometers.
Not me, I want people to know "why" I look this way.
I've traveled a long way and some of the
roads weren't paved.

--------------------------------------------
When you are dissatisfied and would
like to go back to youth,
think of Algebra.
---------------------------------------------
You know you are getting old when everything
either dries up or leaks.

----------------------------------------------
I don't know how I got over the hill
without getting to the top.

----------------------------------------------
One of the many things no one tells you about aging
is that it is such a nice change from being young.

----------------------------------------------
Ah, being young is beautiful,
but being old is comfortable.

-----------------------------------------------
First you forget names, then you forget faces.
Then you forget to pull up your zipper.
It's worse when you forget to pull it down.

-------------------------------------------
Long ago when men cursed and beat the ground
with sticks, it was called witchcraft.
Today, it's called golf.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~
_________________________
Two old guys are pushing their carts around Wal-Mart when they collide. The first old guy says to the
second guy, "Sorry about that. I'm looking for my
wife, and I guess I wasn't paying attention to where I
was going."
The second old guy says, "That's OK, It's a
coincidence. I'm looking for my wife, too. I can't
find her and I'm getting a little desperate."
The first old guy says, "Well, maybe I can help you
find her. What does she look like?"
The second old guy says: "Well, she is 27 yrs old! ,
tall, with red hair, blue eyes, long legs, and is wearing short shorts. What does you wife look like?"
To which the first old guy says, "Doesn't matter,
--- let's look for yours."


*see bursting lightbulb, top.

Comments

LakewoodShmuck said…
great post!
I like your blog.
come visit.
Lady-Light said…
bar kochba: Yes, it was definitely time for a good laugh. I'm not done yet...
lakewoodshmuck: What a name you chose for yourself-do you think so little of yourself (and isn't that insulting Ribono shel Olam)? But thank you for visiting; I scanned through your blog. Interesting...
And, I am confused about the 'problem' with Rubashkin meat...is there a problem? I know, unfortunately, that kashrut is a big-business racket in some places. Where can one be sure he/she is getting kosher meat?

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