Tikkun Olam

What does this post have to do with the price of noodles (let alone my sojourn in Israel)? Nothing, except that I had to go more than 7,000 miles away to Israel to get the pfunniest fpuns that I have yet read in the English language ( hat tip to Shellie in Efrat for passing them on): THE ABILITY TO MAKE AND UNDERSTAND PUNS IS THE HIGHEST LEVEL OF LANGUAGE DEVELOPMENT" (or so they say!) Here are the 10 first-place winners in the International Pun Contest: 1 . A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at him and says, "I'm sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger." 2 . Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the other and says "Dam!" 3 . Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too. 4 . Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says, "I've lost my electron." The other says, ...

[*see glossary below] That's how they say it in the 'old country' (read: America). I actually tried saying "tachlit", but it loses something in the translation. Nothing, not even Ivrit, can match the nuances of ' mama loshon' (Yiddish, for those of you not 'with it'; which is really Hebrew with an attitude). OK, so now I am here for an extended period of time. Am sort of looking for 2 things: a place to stay for me (and later, also my husband-I will explain later on in this post), and work for me. I have very limited (read: NO) funds and no income, so the place I am looking for has to be cheap, or better yet, FREE, at least until I get on my feet and have a job. For now, I am staying at my sons' apt., which basically was designed for 1 person (ok, maybe 2 small people). I am sleeping in my younger son's bedroom (read: miklat ). My luggage is stacked vertically behind the recliner-all six bags of 'em-which is just inside of the front doo...

(for some reason the computer I'm using doesn't show me my ClockLink, editing capabilities or rich text for this blog, so I can't choose my font and color, nor can I even preview the post. So I apologize for any errors or inconsistencies in the design of the following posts. To my readers: please let me know if you can see my Yerushalayim Time Clock, ok? I need to figure out if it's this computer or the Blogger site. Maybe my host will help me figure this out; he's sort of a computer guru.) I arrived in Israel 11 October, Wednesday night at 17:05 hours. Half the chag I was with my daughter, son-in-law and grandkids in the USA, and the other half I was on the other side of the world. A moment of awestuck silence(drumroll,please)for the wonders of technology (thank you, Hashem, for giving us brains to use and develop!). I am still in a mild state of shock that I actually had the chutzpah to hit the 'send' button on my computer and buy the ticket. But I did, a...

Because I am visiting my grandchildren in a different state on the way to Israel, I don't have the same access to a computer as I would at home. Therefore, wherever I can I plan to plagiarize other peoples' works, heheh - just kidding - I will post interesting items as I receive them, and of course - hakarat ha-tov - give credit where credit is due. This is verbatim from my colleague M . in London. Yes, it's that M. , from double-oh-seven fame. (Ya didn't know I was so well-connected, did ya?) So if you will, assimilate this: "The following are true facts and verified statistics:The Global Islamic population is approximately 1,200,000,000, or 20% of the world population. They have received the following Nobel Prizes: Literature: 1988 - Najib Mahfooz Peace: 1978 - Mohamed Anwar El-Sadat1994 - Yaser Arafat Physics: 1990 - Elias James Corey1999 - Ahmed Zewail Medicine: 1960 - Peter Brian Medawar1998 - Ferid Mourad The Global Jewish population is aproximately 14,000,00...

"It was Rosh Hashanah morning, and the Rabbi noticed little Adam was staring up at the large plaque that hung in the foyer of the synagogue. It was covered with names, and small American flags were mounted on either side of it. The seven-year old had been staring at the plaque for some time, so the Rabbi walked up, stood beside the boy, and said quietly, "Good morning, Adam.""Good morning, Rabbi," replied the youngster, still focused on the plaque. Finally, Adam asks, "Rabbi, what is this? "Well, it's a memorial to all the men and women who died in the service."Soberly, they stood together, staring at the large plaque.Adam's voice was barely audible when he asked: "Rosh Hashanah or Yom Kippur?" (credit to my friend, Miriam Liebe for this little story).

I don't have much time to write 'cause I'm behind in packing and I'm starting to panic!! But I saw a funny video clip and wanted to have everyone rolling on the floor in hysterics (well, at least chuckling; 'cause we have to laugh in order not to cry...), so I am posting this from the site of a crazy guy (nu, he's Jewish. So?). Hat tip to Jack for the author. Just click on the title link to see the clip. Shanah Tovah, and see you in Israel--להתראות!!!

I haven't posted in a while; much has happened and is still going on in my life. Suffice it to say, I have taken a very difficult step, and bought myself a ticket to Israel. Difficult - not emotionally, but practically - because we really can't afford this. I am still not working full-time, but am giving up a once-a-week part-time teaching position to do this. My soul is dying here, and I needed to be elsewhere - where else, but a short visit to my grandkids for Rosh Hashana through the first days of Yom Tov Sukkot, and then on chol ha-mo'ed, to fly to Israel?! I hope during my visit I will be able to meet AbbaGav, Jameel, JCop, WestbankMama, Baka Diary, Joe Settler, and everyone else who blogs from Israel and visits my blog on occasion. I must be crazy (I know my kids think so.) So in that crazy vein, here is a little crazy song about the "wonderful" הפוך situation we have in Israel, from politics to economics to society to ----! Just click on this likudnik link...