A Rant: Sick, and Haveil Havalim #301 (not sick of)

I hate being sick.  Actually, who likes being sick?

But I remember, when I was little (now I'm...bigger), still in grade school, I hated and feared school so much that I wanted to be sick, so that I could just stay home and feel the comfort and security of my mother (a"h) puttering around in the kitchen.

I remember how I panicked on a Saturday night, and then felt so relieved when I realized that I still had another day of reprieve--Sunday--as I was prone to anxiety attacks the night before school days, and on school mornings, too.  I was afraid of...everything: not getting up on time and being late for school.  Being the 'outcast' in school and ignored, or worse--being laughed at and humiliated.  Failing tests. Being called on in class and not knowing the answer to the question, and thus being laughed at again, by my classmates.

Well, as I mentioned above (take that, English teacher; "never begin a sentence with 'well'"), I am sick.  Now, there is no mother to take care of me (D. H. tries. I have to hand it to him), and I feel deep guilt every time I have to take a sick day from work--as I am today.  I know I shouldn't feel that guilt, as all I am doing is taking care of myself; yet, I do.  It's a vestige of the past embedded in the present: I am not important.  I have to accomplish.  I have to be responsible.  I have to do what is my duty, to parents, school, The World.  Where does "to myself" figure in this?

So this past night I had a difficult time, coughing up...never mind.  The piece de resistance was at 4 a.m. when I had to...get up; and then stayed up to make myself hot water, lemon and ginger.  My D. H. had gone out yesterday specifically to get chicken to make chicken soup for me, and I added fresh ginger to the list--a natural cold remedy, very good, they say.  Actually, even if ginger does nothing at all to cut this bronchitis-type-cold short, it tastes so strong that it feels as if it's doing something. Totally psychological.

So I figured, I'm up already, in a lousy mood, why not to over to the PC and write about the latest Haveil Havalim, and blog? Logical, right?

So I will end this rant (because that is what it is) with the link to the latest Jewish Blog Carnival, the weekly HH #301, which Jack kindly took over because the scheduled host was...sick!

Misery loves company? Nah.  Get better, F.S.

Comments

Batya said…
Feel better, at least you're well enough to blog.
8:09 AM
Lady-Light said…
Batya, If you mean that I can sit here with a trash can right next to me for you-know-what, while still in PJs, well, then, I guess I am "well enough" to blog.
8:13 AM
Shoshana Z. said…
Refuah Shelaima! You are our Shabbos guests this Friday night, don't forget. :)
8:45 AM
Lady-Light said…
Shoshana, I did forget! I can barely remember my name these days (which, of course, is why I wear my Hebrew name necklace. Right.)
It's Rosh Hodesh Adar I next Shabbat...auspicious--thank you!
11:41 AM
Anonymous said…
Thank you so much for the kind wishes. Today was my first day vertical in nearly two weeks. I am winded, but happy to be on the mend.

May you see health soon!
9:16 PM
Lady-Light said…
rivster: Oh no, 2 weeks--is that what I have to look forward to?!
You had bronchitis, and what I have is similar. It actually feels like...walking pneumonia (don't know yet; going to dr. today).
Thank goodness you're 'on the mend', and thanks for visiting!
9:32 AM
Norma said…
Hope you feel better soon. I loved school so much I didn't try to play sick to avoid it, but occasionally did miss. Usually had perfect attendance but did manage to ruin some summers! Did you have awful teachers?

My computer does have a virus, though, and I am recycling an old one.
6:40 AM
Lady-Light said…
Norma, Thanks for visiting--haven't seen you in a while. Even though I didn't like school, I had fairly good attendance.
Most of my teachers were fine, except for my first grade teacher, who today would have been brought up on child-abuse charges. Unfortunately I was a shy child, and her treatment of me affected my psyche very negatively.

But worry not--I'm fully recovered, and now am a teacher of toddlers, whom I love.

Why don't you give your computer the same "meds" I am taking: Guafenisen with codeine. Should get rid of that virus (and your PC) quickly!
8:37 PM
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